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Lose Yourself


This may seem a little off of topic, but it is my hopes that it will all tie into the topic at hand which is self-love. Whenever it is time to write a blog, I almost always know exactly what topic I would like to highlight. Most of the time the topic is not the issue, but the content is the issue. My initial attempt at this particular post was to speak about women being comfortable and confident wearing their natural hair, which will still be addressed in a later blog. However after a conversation last night, I woke up this morning needing to pour out my heart with hopes that the masses will hear and just maybe I can inspire someone.

Even as a little girl, I have always been a dreamer. A free spirit…I can remember many play sessions where I lived out possible future careers. I was fearless, and believed that I could be anyone and do anything that I wanted. My dreams consisted of becoming a teacher, attorney, hair stylist and entertainer (famous singer, like Whitney Houston). There was no right or wrong answer for me, and no one there to tell me that I could not do and be anything that I put my heart, soul and mind to. As time passed I narrowed my dreams down to one, singing, and focused specifically on my vocal talents. I believed that the little girl from Smithfield, Virginia had the voice and opportunity to make it big in the music industry. My confidence was extremely high and I just knew that I could do anything!!!

When I was in high school things seemed to shift a bit. My sister was a scholar at North Carolina State University, majoring in Applied Mathematics, and beginning a career in banking. Whereas my sister has always been a scholar and left brained, I on the other hand has always been a right brained creative dreamer. It was at that point that I was steered in the direction of becoming more of a scholar and focusing on a career that was more stable and had great financial potential. My right brain was used only for talent and entertainment purposes, and the focus was on my academia. Now let me be clear, by no means am I a dummy. However, I was not a candidate for valedictorian. I manage to graduate high school, after moving to North Carolina in my senior, with a 3.5 grade point average. When I entered into college at North Carolina State University (following in my sister’s footsteps) I had my mind set on merging my left brain skills along with my right brain skills, so I decided to major in Mass Communications. Needless to say, my career path has taken many unexpected turns.

After changing my major two times, and declaring a minor in theatre. The hopes of using my right brain to earn a living was once again a possibility of a reality for me. Then I found out two months before graduation that I was carrying a little life inside of me, and once again my hopes and dreams would have to sit on the back burner. Because I was committed to being a mother and wife, I made a lot of changes that steered me further away from following my dreams. Where many thought that I would not be financially successful (to their standards of success) in fulfilling my dreams of being a vocalist/songwriter, modern technology has proven that there are lots of opportunity and potential to be successful (my standards) in the music industry and you don’t have to be Beyonce to do so. In 2006, I was given the opportunity to once again share my voice with the world. Although it was only on a local level/platform, it filled the void of me not being able to make a lively hood doing what I always wanted to do. It allowed me to express my creative side, an rejoice while doing so. I felt free as a bird, once again. For once in a very long time, I was “living my best life” and doing exactly what I wanted. Now I will say that some decisions I made may not have been the best decisions, but I was young and experiencing life. I had to fall on my face a few times to learn some very important life lessons, and I must say that the failure was worth each lesson. I believe that is one of the most incredible benefits of being free spirited. You are able to make mistakes, take ownership of your mistakes, and correct your actions from there. There is no room to place blame on someone else.

Bringing this full circle to self-love…

About four years ago I stopped singing and performing. The initial decision was a business decision only a temporary decision, but ended up being somewhat of a permanent decision. Taking a look at where I have ended up today, I have realized that my free spirit has been taken hostage by life. At times I have been in positions where I have been depressed and very unhappy. Not to say that I did not have those moments when I was doing all of the things that I wanted to do, but to say that then those moments were just that…moments! Depressed and unhappy states can become extensive over time. Currently, I am learning lessons about myself which are assisting me in becoming a free spirit once again while still living life. I am also doing something that I dreamt of as a little girl in my bedroom. I am a Licensed Natural Hair Care Specialist, and I am an overall much happier person doing what I love.

Here are a few things that I keep in mind to assist in keeping me on track of being my full potential and continuing to be free spirited…

  1. Dreams are not just dreams, they all can be achieved with hard work, determination and dedication.

  2. Never let life get in the way of us doing what we are passionate about doing.

  3. Never let anyone get in the way of achieving our dreams.

  4. Demonstrate love with yourself just as you do with your love ones.

  5. Always, always, always strive to be the best you. Self-love and preservation takes constant work and maintenance. Believe in yourself and love yourself unconditionally.

Stay on track, spread love and achieve all that you ever want in life!!! Lose yourself to love yourself better!!!

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